Lord's prayer.

Dear God,
Lord and protector of all that is imaginary;
Lord of my dreams -
Of my imagination,
In the sky,
Eating the pie;
Wielding a huge glistening ball of unreason;
With the beard;
Please protect me from my sister,
And her relentless attempts to commandeer my laptop.

Dear God -
The sky God -
With the zombie son
(Who is also God, apparently;
Something about a godhead -
I dunno),
Please protect me from
Giant custard monsters
And other pretend creatures
Advocating bigotry, infanticide,
Genocide, slavery, rape, incest and
Prostitution -
Creatures like you.

Amen.

P.S. Please don't send the Holy Ghost to kill my children - I've done nothing to you, so stay out of my life, you egomaniacal, genocidal, megalomaniacal prick!